Heir of Fire 19-20

I'm home sick from work, and I'd picked this up from the library yesterday.

You know I had a $3.60 late fine from last time? I got so busy I forgot to return it. THIRD TIMES A CHARM, Y'ALL.


Chapter Nineteen

So Nacho is all like "okay, I won't fight you guys". Apparently these are the same guys who kidnapped him in the last book? I think?

Aedion is there with some guy from the last book whom I don't remember and a guard who taunted him during his kidnapping.

Didn't Cellulite kill all these guys?

"Captain of the Guard, heir of Anielle, and spy? Or has your lover been giving you some tricks of the trade?"

?!?!?!?! I don't understand?! Cel is an assassin not a spy. She'd make a shitty spy. Or what the hell does this even mean? Is he implying Nacho is there to kill him? I AM SO CONFUSED.

Nacho and the guard kind of taunt each other and it's boring. Aedion is wearing the secret club ring that Evil King Papa and Duke Perrington wear. Aedion is all "omg you're so interesting."

If you can't tell I utterly don't care about any of this.

 Aedion explains that the king gave him his sword and the ring at the same time. Aedion is so super smart that he made a replica ring because the ring "smelled off" (I am not even joking).

Aedion pocketed the ring as if it were--as if it were indeed fake.

First of all, that is a horrible sentence. Second of all, what does that even mean?

Aedion starts questioning Nacho about his loyalty and about Cel. He talks about what Cel did to help the rebels.

Did they all conveniently forget that she slaughtered most of them because they kidnapped Nacho?

Aedion says they can torture information out of him and kill him, or he can freely give information and then they'll quickly kill him. Aww, how nice, he has a choice.

Nacho is all "fuck that noise" and there's some introspection on Aedion being a traitor to Adarlan. Like, big surprise there? EKP destroyed his country? Why should this be shocking? Nacho also thinks that Cel is safe, but Fizzbitch isn't, and Nacho wants to protect him.

Awww. Fizzy Nachos forever!

Aedion raised his sword

Wait, what? He didn't give him any information at all, so why is Aedion gonna be all like IMMA KILL YOU!

PLEASE START MAKING SENSE.

Nacho tells Aedion that his cousin Alien is alive.

POV SWITCH!

To... Aedion? Apparently he likes being a liar and a trickster. Good for you, Eddie.

OR FOR-

Hold on I need to rant about this in a video.

 Then he goes on to talk about his cousin. And how much he loved her. Ugh.

Some time has passed since Nacho's revelation, as Aedion's co-conspirator beat him up. This dude's name is Ren and he and his grandfather (MURTAGH, I AM NOT JOKING) escaped CERTAIN DEATH.

I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S SPELLED SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY I'M GOING FOR IT.

Also they were the ones who lied and started the rumors that Alien Garfunkel was alive and raising an army. Not that anyone cares.

There's more backstory about Eddie and how he pretended to be a traitor to Terrasen and how guilty he felt about Alien dying. And because Eddie is a man of his word, he made sure Riggs-I mean Ren-beat up nacho. Because. Um. Reasons.

Actual footage of Ren/Riggs beating up Nacho

Wait a minute. on page 150, it's spelled Murtagh, but on page 151 it's spelled Murtaugh.

EDITING!!.

I literally snapchatted my friends I was so amused.

Nacho told him all about Cel/Alien. And Eddie is pissy because she went to Wendlyn. Eddie just wants to kill Nacho. Do it! Kill someone! It would be more interesting than all of this. eddie is freaking out about everything. Nacho is all "I can trust you because you don't look evil and don't stay at your parties!"

Apparently Cel was so ridiculously powerful that she burnt libraries (?) and that some people were wanting to send her away so she could learn to control her powers. And apparently they never discussed sending her to her aunt Maeve, aka THE ONE PERSON WHO COULD TEACH HER TO CONTROL HER POWER.

Way to go, Powers that Be in Terrasen. Y'all are dumb as shit.

(No, literally, the text says specifically that they didn't talk about sending her to Maeve).

Also Eddie isn't anywhere close to being as powerful as Cel. Because she's a Mary Sue or something? IDEK.

Nacho admits he doesn't know if Cel is coming back, and Eddie is all "omg he's in love with her and I'm jealous!" (okay?!)

But torturing and killing his queen's lover wouldn't go over well if--when she returned.

But bleeding him to a bloody pulp? That's fine.

Chapter 20

Back to Cel, who's storyline is as boring as ever. She's getting used to how things go at the fortress, and can name most of the people who live there. Luca, her companion in the kitchen, kindly offers to lend a listening ear, but Cel is a grumpy bitch (which, i guess I can relate to since I'm often a grumpy bitch) and shuts him down.

She usually avoided look at the other fortress couples, but here, where she couldn't walk away. . . she hated their closeness, the way Malakai's eyes lit up every time he saw him. Hated it so much that she choked on it.

Author still abuses ellipses, by the way. Also that sounds really homophobic if you didn't know that Cel has a complicated romantic past. "Complicated" meaning she's a dumb idiot who got her boyfriend kidnapped and her best friend killed.

Training is still them sitting in the temple ruins doing shit all.

Oh, sometimes he makes her chop wood.

Actual footage of Cel chopping wood.

Then randomly, she asks to see Rowboat shift. He's all like "dont' tell me what to do."

God, these two assholes are perfect for each other.

But anyway, he does shift for her so she can see how to do it. He turns back from his hawk form and tells her to do it.

Why doesn't he just tell her how to do it? God, this guy is the worst teacher in the universe, and that's saying something. There has to be more than just "doing" it. Also, Rowboat is described as soulless. 10 to 1 he lost his true love or some shit like that. I already know that these two assholes end up together so it's remarkably uninteresting to me.

Cel tries and fails to shift.

She starts to taunt him, and he literally grabs her tongue with his fingers. So she bites down. Holy crap, these two are worse than angry toddlers. They fight a bit more and he finally lets go of her tongue. 

She swore at him, a filthy, foul name, and spat at his feet. and that's when he bit her.

Jeez. They are toddlers.

He bites her like a vampire.

Legit, bro. He is a hawk after all.

 He literally bites her neck until she bleeds. She pushes him away and shifts.

No, she wanted to rip his throat out--rip it out with the elongated canines she bared at him as she finished shifting and roared.

Into a vampire, I guess.