The Virgin Bride Said, "Wow!" Chapter Eleven Part One

Since we're almost done, I figured, hey, let's just get this done! This is the second to last chapter, kids. Are you ready?

This chapter opens with the phone ringing, and the two letting it go to the answering machine.

Unsurprisingly, the caller is Hargett. He wants to call in Brady's loan and before he can finish the message, Brady stops the machine from recording the rest.

"Why did you do that?" Kelsey demanded as the phone began to ring again a few minutes later [c: she sure waited awhile to ask.... what the hell]. 

Brady pushed her out the door and locked it behind them. "Because I know what he's going to say." 

"Well, I don't!" Kelsey argued.

Whine some more, Kelsey, I'd love to hear it. She's all hurt that Brady pretty much told her to mind her own business. And she feels like she's wrong that Brady understood and appreciated her. Because that automatically means he has to tell her every single detail of his life especially concerning like two days ago they weren't going to stay married for good.

By the way, I have absolutely no idea how much time has passed in this book. I want to say less than a week.

Brady explains that Hargett is complex and that Kelsey can't help deal with him.

Kelsey began to feel very uneasy. Brady was acting as if whatever Hargett said or did could somehow hurt the two of them and/or disrupt some of the happiness they'd found as man and wife.

For the love of god, stop using "and/or". It's like the author just discovered she could use this as a shortcut for wording a sentence in a dynamic way and it makes my head hurt.

Kelsey isn't worried about herself and says to herself that she can handle Hargett (lol). She asks if he's threatening Brady, and Brady says that it's not in the way she thinks (DUDE. SERIOUSLY, WAS HE A PROSTITUTE THIS IS STILL MY THEORY). Kelsey furthers my theory by suggesting that Hargett wants something from Brady. And Brady even FURTHERS my theory and says Hargett wants him to go back to work for him. Doing BUSINESS. And Brady tells her it's not going to happen.

Kelsey argues some more about it and I just want them to die already because this is so boring and not actually all that tense. I don't care about these people after two hundred pages. I just want them to leave me alone.

And I"m the one choosing to read the damn book.

Kelsey goes on to say that she knows Brady got in over his head and tells him there's a way out. Brady asks her if she'd forgive him if he did something to compromise his future. Kelsey says she would.

Brady decides they don't need to discuss this (thank god) and that they need to go talk to Doucheface Patricia (ugh).

After Brady internally monologues about how Kelsey would be furious when she finds out what he did for Hargett, they catch up to Doucheface Patricia. Apparently they know her schedule by the timestamp, which is sort of creepy. Patricia knows why they're there and tells them to forget it.

Glad she had wasted no time in getting to Patricia, Kelsey hastened to set the record straight. "I was the married woman Rafe was with that night, and it was not a real date, it was a practice date for his evening with you." 

Patricia blinked in confusion. "I don't understand. Why would Rafe need a practice date?"

PATRICIA SAYS WHAT I'M THINKING THANK YOU DOUCHEFACE. Kelsey rolls her eyes and explains that Rafe is a dummy head. And they talk about Brady being jealous and how Kelsey didn't feel the need to tell him about this practice date (why is everyone so painfully stupid do we really need this scene explaining everything that just happened).

Patricia realizes she's been a doucheface (though really, she hasn't been, she had every right to assume that Rafe was helping Kelsey cheat on her husband and she's probably the least stupid person in this entire novel)

And then Brady says THE FUTURE IS IMPORTANT and that scene ends.

Kelsey asks Brady if he meant the future being important. Like, wtf of course it is. Why are they even discussing this.

This book is leeching my sanity and patience, dear readers.

Kelsey reveals that she has something important to tell him. But before she can tell him (OH MY GOD JUST... STUDFAS=FASKDFJ;ASELKDRJ;ALKSDJR;LAKSDJR;LK)

But before she can tell him, of course (second try), Hargett's Cadillac pulls into the driveway. Brady tells Kelsey to let him take care of things. The two meet halfway between their cars.

"You want to see me, fine, but not here and not now." 

"Then when?" Hargett demanded unhappily as Kelsey dashed out of the pickup and threw herself between them. 

"To get him, you're going to have to go through me," she vowed.

Hargett is unafraid. Kelsey tells him to forget whatever he wants with him and go home. Brady tells her he doesn't have to defend him and tries to move her out of the way. However, Hargett is "charmed" and wants to hear more of what she has to say and says something about how this little filly really loves Brady.

Kelsey agrees. On the loving part, not the filly part. Brady thinks that he loves her too. Kelsey says she wants to protect Brady, which of course makes Hargett laugh. Brady tells him to leave, and Hargett is all ominous and is like YOU DIDN'T TELL HER WHO I WAS AND THEREFORE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE EITHER.

For the love of all that is holy just... stop this stupid padding and do the big reveal please for the love of God I am so sick of this. 

Kelsey retorts that she knows who Brady is, of course, and that she loves him. Hargett is like, lol, no and tells them they need to have the conversation alone. He tells Brady to come by after he finishes telling her. He leaves a card with Brady and leaves. 

And then Brady tells Kelsey that Hargett is his dad.

What.

What. 

No.

I can't even with this stupid flipping book.

No.

 I can't guys. I can't right now.