Before I begin, I think you all should know what bookmark I'm using. It was my grandmother's, and has a Russian Orthodox cross and prayer on the back.
I like to think the Lord is praying for my sanity.
Chapter Ten
Almost done, kiddies.
Chapter ten opens with more sex. I know you really, really wanted to read about this. I sure do.
Brady's way of having sex is slow, by the way. Also sensual. They fell asleep when morning came, all cuddled-like. Kelsey thinks (apparently while asleep) that she's finally well-loved and they're both happy. BUT THERE'S STILL SIXTY PAGES LEFT SO JOKES ON HER.
Kelsey tells Brady that he should move his stuff into her bedroom as they eat breakfast and watch the sun rise. I still have no idea how time passes in this book. I'm so confused. But anyway, Brady says it's a big step.
LIKE HAVING DONE THE DIRTY DEED ISN'T WHAT THE HELL BRADY GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. And then he does it anyway. What.
Brady doesn't have a lot of stuff, and Kelsey is ambivalent about asking him questions because they're so happy and Brady is a dick and gets angry when anyone asks him questions. Kelsey lies to him and talks about work. It's about time they actually worked on that ranch that they got married to save, eh?
Brady switched on the weather radio beside Kelsey's bed. It ran on batteries and only got one channel-the national weather service for their area.
Not gonna lie, when I first read these two sentences I thought Kelsey's bed ran on batteries and was very creeped out. Anyway, the radio tells them there's rain coming. Which means Kelsey has to cancel her riding class. They do more chitchat about ranch crap and improvements.
Kelsey's parents apparently died in a tornado (was this mentioned before because I honestly cannot remember a damned thing about the back story of this book), so she's mopey about the dark skies. I get that. But also, I'm from Tornado Alley. We know when to get upset by dark skies and when you don't even need to go to the basement when tornado sirens go off (I'd say we live dangerously but seriously, you can tell when you've lived here as long as I have).
Kelsey and Brady talk about their brand for their ranch. More chit chat that is really pointless to this since it's neither funny nor good (nor bad). Except their brand is TWO INTERLOCKING HEARTS WITH AN ARROW THROUGH THEM ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME. That's like getting someone's name on your butt. That spells doom, you twits. Of course it's because her last name is "Lockhart". Uh huh.
I wanted to facepalm when Brady says the brand is not taken. Seriously, why the hell would you want to brand a Valentine's day card onto your cattle? The honeymoon period is going to wear off sometime, kiddos. Jebus.
He looked deep into her eyes. "You want to register that as our brand?"
Yes, Kelsey thought. You don't know how much. Mostly because of how much it seems to indicate you care about me and think of us as a couple now.
Kelsey seems like the type who thought the kid in seventh grade who gave her a valentine with a heart on it was in love with her but doesn't realize he gave one to every kid in the class, even the other boys.
She does have some hesitation (thank god) about it because it "sets the bar pretty high". I guess in terms with her relationship with Brady. And she comments the other ranchers in the area might make fun of them or something. Which GOOD.
(I am secretly grumpy cat).
Brady doesn't care though, because he isn't twelve years old (except he totally is. I mean, seriously). He kisses her, and she climbs into his lap and they're making out but are interrupted by a car approaching thank god.
But they ignore the visitor and continue kissing because they're creepy assholes.
"Well, seems like I owe you five bucks after all," a familiar feminine voice said. Kelsey and Brady turned to see Dani and Beau standing by the porch. Dani shook her head, tacitly accepting blame where it was due. "Beau's been saying for months now that the two of you were seriously, romantically attracted to each other," she said. "I was thinking it was just a friendship, and a pretty casual one at that."
HELLO YOUR SISTER IS MARRIED AND MADE SEX NOISES THE NIGHT YOU STAYED OVER YOU STUPID TWIT. What do you THINK that means, even if it was feigned in reality? God, how do these people survive interacting with others on a daily basis?
Anyway, Dani apologizes for getting upset about the computer. They have some discussion on who broke it, Kelsey or the computer itself. Dani blames her anger on her pregnancy (a likely story). And then they discuss TV commercials. And then Dani gives them a fruit basket. With Wine and Cheese and Sourdough bread. Damn, gourmet.
The ladies hug. Kelsey is happy. She is surprised.
The newlyweds spend the day working. The doorbell rings at 10 P.M., surprisingly enough. And it's Rafe Marshall! Yay Rafe! (I forgot who he was until he mentioned the night before and oh yeah, fake date guy).
He came because he didn't want to cause any trouble (too late, even though Kelsey denies it). And Brady tells him everything worked out. Rafe is sad still, though. Apparently, he had the same maitre d' with his date with Patricia. Apparently the guy was a dick and made some comment about being on a date with a married woman. Of course, his date overheard and left. Poor schmuck can't catch a break (that's why you don't go to restaurants with snooty waitstaff, RAFE).
When he ran after her, she demanded to know if he'd been on a date the night before with a married woman, and he said yes. Of course, he knows explaining is futile so therefore the date was a bust. Brady and Kelsey try to tell him to explain things to Patricia anyway. But seriously, dude should just cut his losses. It's weird going on practice dates, for the love of God.
Turns out Patricia was a douche in the back story and was involved with a douchey married man when she first moved to Laramie. Unless she actually wasn't a douche and the married man pretended he was single. I have no idea.
Rafe is all self-pitying about blowing it. Or, you know, he could have NOT GONE ON A PRACTICE DATE I MEAN WHY?
Kelsey decides to go talk to Patricia. Rafe leaves and Kelsey is now in a bad mood. Brady opens a bottle of chardonnay and they talk about Kelsey's issues. Instead of respecting the fact that she doesn't want to talk, he presses her (I've never had a guy do this to me by the way).
"If you're smart, you'll get out while the going is still good."
Brady blinked, sure he hadn't heard right. "What?"
Kelsey lifted both hands in a helpless gesture, then let them fall again to her sides. Moisture gleamed in her pretty green eyes. "I'm jinxed." She swallowed hard and, her eyes locked with his, continued explaining sadly, "You've heard of Wade McCabe and how everything he touches magically turns to gold?" she asked softly. "Well, everything I touch turns to rust."
Kelsey, you dumbass, of course he's heard of Wade HE GAVE YOU THE LOAN AND IS WHY YOU GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'm surprised I even remember his name. There's also a novel about him and I'm tempted to read it because I hate myself.
Anyway, Kelsey thinks she's a jinx because everything that goes wrong in her life is because she's the only common denominator.
Now. Think about that for moment. It'll sink in soon.
Yeeeeeeeeah, she's a sharp one, ain't she?
Okay, moving on. There was a botched engagement with her sister (there's a book about that), Someone named Meg delivered someone named Jeremy prematurely (I'm sure there's a book about that too). She talked Dani into going to Mexico with Beau and they got married (Um... okay if you think that's a bad thing...). Also the computer thing. And Rafe didn't get with Patricia because of Kelsey.
Kelsey, Patricia is a doucheface and Rafe is an idiot for taking you on a "practice" date (SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL).
Brady comforts her and tells her that a lot of people have bad shit happen in their lives and to get over it, only nicely and saying something about tackling them as challenges. Then he compares Kelsey to a challenge which is the surest way to any woman's heart. They banter. And start doing the hanky panky.
They kiss and undress and have couch sex. It's really not all that interesting so I'm skipping most of it. But Thacker does refer to Brady's junk as "sex" so that's delightful. He also holds her hands above her head and uses the other hand to touch her.
KNowing, even if she didn't, that she was the one who was conquering him, he flicked her nipples with his tongue and touched her with his lips and explored her with his hands, until she was silky wet and trembling. Ready. Wanting. Needing. Parting her knees with his, he braced a hand on either side of her and situated himself between her thighs. Her hands caught his hips, brought him against her, closed around him, and guided him inside.
They do it, and randomly in the paragraph it says they are married.
WHAT. I HAD NO IDEA. THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.
Brady thinks this is how it's like to truly be with a woman. And they climax and "float" and kiss some more.
And apparently sex cures jinxes because Kelsey doesn't feel like one anymore. Brady says she's the best thing that's ever happened to him and this chapter is over.
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