Throne of Glass Ch. 1-2

Our new book this time around is a blast from Catherine's Past.

I'm talking about THRONE OF GLASS.

First things first, I'm pretty sure the cover artist was all like "Huh.. we need a pretty blonde chick as a model for this...

"The author is a pretty blonde chick...

"let's give her gross eyebrows and call it a day!"

I'm not even kidding, take a look at the author's photo compared to this cover and be baffled with me.

As if we needed another reminder that the protagonist is a self-insert. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with self-inserts as a rule. I myself write a ton of protagonists who are short, tiny people with long hair who like to sing, and most of them are girls! But the protag in this book, from what I've read in reviews, is the insufferable Mary Sue of the early 2000's.

I read this story on fictionpress waaaaaay back when the author first published it. I was probably around 15 (the author was 16) and I thought it was super cool except for the fact that the protagonist seemed kinda high school girly for a hardened assassin (and a couple years later then created one of my most badass characters who happened to be an assassin as well but who was significantly emotionally damaged by what she went through in her life). Apparently the author didn't take my tactic of 'BURY FREAKING EVERYTHING' from my high school writing years and didn't rewrite much of this book.

So this is going to be interesting.

The Virgin Bride Said, "Wow" Chapter Eleven Part Two- Chapter 12

I'M BACK.

It took me that long to recover from this dumb book.

So I present to you now the last chapter and a half of the Virgin Bride said, "Wow!".

The Virgin Bride Said, "Wow!" Chapter Eleven Part One

Since we're almost done, I figured, hey, let's just get this done! This is the second to last chapter, kids. Are you ready?

The Virgin Bride Said, "Wow!" Chapter 10

My back hurts, so you get to hear me complain about this awful piece of literature.

Before I begin, I think you all should know what bookmark I'm using. It was my grandmother's, and has a Russian Orthodox cross and prayer on the back.

I like to think the Lord is praying for my sanity. 

Chapter Nine of the Virgin Bride said, "Wow!"

This is the fourth chapter from the end, kiddos. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. THANK CTHULHU.

The Virgin Bride said, "Wow" Chapter Eight

I'm sick and there's nothing else to do but drink pepto bismal and whine.

The Virgin Bride said, "Wow!" Chapter Seven

Time for another chapter of my favorite book ever! I've got my citrus flavored seltzer water, my kitty purring on my lap (she'll have to move soon), and some sweet tunes on Pandora.