Virgin Bride, Chapter Four

If you want to know how much I dislike this book, here's a little anecdote. My cat, Prince, sometimes scratches at my door at ungodly hours of the morning because he wants food. He used to do it more, but stopped when I threw a shoe at the door and scared him off with the ensuing bang. He did it the morning after my last blog post, and the nearest object within grabbing distance, this book, went sailing.

It sat on my floor, pages bent underneath it's own weight, until this very moment. And I'm the girl who yells at people who crack the spine of my paperbacks and dogears my pages.

Yeah.

Virgin Bride, chapter 3

I'm ridiculously horribly irritated, so I figure why not get my irritation and anger out on this book?

Stunningly Brilliant I am. Or something.

Enough dithering. Review after the jump.

Virgin Bride, chapter 2

I am totally exhausted, so I figure the best remedy is to read a bad book! I suppose I'm something of a freak of nature, considering I actually seek out bad books to read and bad movies to watch. I'm a lot more into watching bad movies, I must admit. This reading bad books thing is new.

So, I'm crabby (when will people learn that not getting what they want doesn't necessarily equal me not being helpful? I'm giving you lots of options, just not the ugly-ass ones you want. It's a good thing I'm not allowed to say what I'm thinking to the customers who call in...), tired, and hungry.

Click away!

The Virgin Bride said, "Wow!"

Chapter Two

The Virgin Bride Said, "Wow!" Chapter One

I'm going to preface this book review by explaining a bit about how I started this. I mentioned in my intro that I bought this book solely for the title. I bought it used on Amazon (it was way out of print), and when I got it and actually saw what it was about, I was pretty stoked. This was going to be AWESOME.

I like to draw stick figures in the margins, and write my own commentary on the book, and send it to my friend Ellabel. However, for this blog I'm going to expand my commentary and maybe leave out some of the more... sketchy jokes (There's a whole subplot I created in this book involving the heroine's brother-in-law and a horse named Heinrich... yeah).

Here's the book in question.

It's hard to see, but the field of flowers they're lying on looks like REALLY bad CG with astigmatism.

Read more after the jump!

And So It Begins...

I came up with this blog while babysitting four rambunctious boys. Self, I thought while reading a crappy book while the boys were playing Xbox, you like reading crappy books. You like making fun of things. Why not blog about it?

And then my friend commented that it was like Rifftrax for books, and I was even more excited.

My good friend Ellabel knows very well how much I like to comment on crappy romance novels. We discovered a ridiculous romance novel called The Pleasure Chest, and I had to buy it. In the margins I drew pictures and wrote my own commentary on the ridiculous nature of the book, and sent it along to Ellabel to read. At MidSouthCon we had ceremonial recitations, out loud, of the sex scenes. It was hilarious.

My first offering was bought solely for the title. The Virgin Bride said, "Wow!" If that doesn't inspire you to want to read this... well, then I wouldn't blame you. However, I'm just the sort of person who would read it with relish!

I plan on doing a chapter by chapter review, with each chapter having it's own post. At least that's the plan. I'll post snippets of the writing, distill the plot, and have some fun commentary along the way.

Requests for different books are much encouraged (And no, they don't have to be bad! I'd love to review good fiction as well!). :)

Let's get this party started.