Heir of Fire Ch. 10-11

Work is driving me mad, and Valentine's Day is around the corner.

That doesn't have to do with this blog post, but I just felt like saying it.

This gif doesn't have to do with anything, I just felt like posting it

Chapter Ten

Now we're in Nacho's POV. He's avoiding Prince Fizzbitch when he notices two of his guards are missing from their posts. The other guards explain that they went to Adidas' (remember him?) party on invitation. Nacho is pissed. 

Adidas reserved a tavern for his party and it's hopping. Nacho sends his guards home. He goes on a wild goose chase after Adidas and finds out he left with a courtesan. 

[Aedion's company of soldiers] would arrive soon, people said, and when the legion descended on the city, they planned to show Rifthold a whole new level of debauchery. All of Chaol's guards were invited, apparently.

Nacho decides to go to Adidas' next party to get some dirt so he can blackmail the dude into not throwing parties.

Dude. Seriously. You're the Captain of the Guard. Just punish, severely, the men who abandon their posts and threaten to court martial any guard who does so to go to one of these debaucherous get togethers. And if you're worried about the Bane (the name of Adidas' company), then have your guards shut them down before they start and work with the city guard.

It's... not that difficult you great baboon.

Chapter Eleven

And we're back to my favorite person ever, Cel. Rowboat sent her salve with a note that said she deserved the punch. It's obvious Maeve made him send her the salve. Cel bathes and changes clothes. 

[. . . a lot of nonsense about dressing. . .] and tied the thick red sash around her waist as tightly as she could manage without losing the ability to move, hoping to give herself some shape, but. . .

Are you seriously being vain right now? Why the hell do you care what Rowboat thinks?

AND THEN SHE TAKES IT OFF WTF.

She randomly thinks about Nacho.

It was not his fault that Nehemia died, not when the princess had orchestrated everything. Yet he had kept information from her.

So, no thoughts on the fact that Nehemia hired a serial killer to torture and kill herself and her two guards for literally no reason?

He had chosen the king.

Okay, just making sure.

She whines more about Nacho choosing his boss over her spoiled ass, and then leaves to go to kitchen duty.

I hope Gordon Ramsey is there

There's an old man and a boy in the kitchen working. Rowboat shows up with "animal bright" eyes, whatever that means.

I hope it means laser cat eyes
(bonus image of my sister-in-law and my cat)

Cel introduces herself to the kitchen staff by the twee name Nehemiah gave her Elentiya. Rowan leaves after saying she's the new kitchen help, and the other two introduce themselves as Emrys and Luca. They're half-Fae and have pointed ears I guess?

The two seem nice. They tell Cel to chop onions. 

Breakfast is a busy affair. Also, apparently the kitchen can't be assed to sharpen their kinves even though it's obviously a sentry station where they'd need to keep their weapons sharp so they'd have the proper equipment. And even though Cel has never worked in a kitchen, she magically has perfect knife cuts.

I call bullshit.

Chopping food is 100% different than SWORD FIGHTING

She eats, finally, and eats like she's starving (which she probably is at this point considering her former eating habits). Emrys thinks it's a compliment that she's obviously enjoying his cooking and she gets all bent out of shape about it.

How would they react if they knew the things she'd done? WHat would they do if they knew about the blood she'd spilled, how she'd tortured Grave and taken him apart piece by piece, the way she'd gutted Archer in the sewer?

Good God, Kylo Ren wishes he were this emo

She's super emo that Emrys and Luca don't have to worry about a corrupt empire and can be happy. Because this bitch is EMO and is going to squeeze every drop of black eyeliner out of this book she can. She continues bitching about how she never knew what freedom is like and how she has an emptiness in her and it's just so over the top that I'm bored. 

Emrys and Luca tell them that they are/were training to gain entry into Doranelle like Celaena. It took Emrys 10 years to find out he wasn't worthy, and Luca is still working on it.

Also Emrys is the token gay dude and he has a "mate" (Fae don't have husband/wives). And it's explained that half-Fae are called demi-Fae and that the gifted demi-Fae get taken to Doranelle but the ordinary ones have to train to gain entrance and usually just chill in Mistward, the sentry station.

Cel says that she's not half, but won't give any other details about herself. I think she's a fourth, but because she's the Mary Sue, she can shift even though many half can't. 

This whole part isn't too bad because Emrys and Luca aren't annoying and Cel is just trying to get information without being too much of a dick. 

 She gets some info on people/magic/secondary Fae forms. 

Though apparently "convincing rain to come" is  A BORING TALENT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Controlling the weather is one of the most powerful things you could do, from a long term standpoint. You could destroy entire countries with that kind of power. Jeez Louise. I'm writing an entire series of books about how controlling the weather is A HUGE ASS DEAL.

Also "encouraging plants to grow" is also boring. This book doesn't understand the importance of agriculture on a global scale. Even now, in our digital age, PLANTS ARE FREAKING IMPORTANT.

And then Luca says those abilities are only fun for farmers and Maeve is a complete and utter idiot if she doesn't understand the ramifications of CONTROLLING PLANTS AND WEATHER. 

Emrys goes on to say that Rowboat keeps to himself and he has no idea how old he is. Luca adds that he's a "stone-cold killer and a sadist".

Oh good, he and Celery stick will get along famously.

Cel finishes the conversation and goes to wash the dishes. Of course, while she's doing them she once again thinks about how she doesn't remember what it's like to be free.

I feel the same way about dishes as well, to be honest..

Hey, those onions didn't make Cel cry...