After the reigning stupidity of yesterday's post, I'm wondering how this book is going to surprise me again. It's like every time I think I've hit the threshold for ridiculousness, this book pulls a fast one on me.
So at least it's keeping me guessing? Just not in the way the author intended.
I feel kinda like this sometimes.
Chapter 32
We get another scene of Cel and Nehemiah Tyger wandering around together because screw sensible security measures in this novel. Granted there is a "flock of guards" wandering around with them, but these guards are about as useful as moldy cheese based on the fact that they were nowhere to be seen when they had the altercation with Cain by the clock tower.
Christmahannakwanzakah is a month away, in case you were keeping track of the passage of time. Cel and Nehemiah have been switching languages and practicing a lot. Apparently Cel learned Eyllwe (I hate typing that word) in Endovier.
Nehemiah remarks that Cel looks worried, and says she'll listen if she wants to talk. Cel gets all emotional over being called Nehemiah's friend. Nehemiah asks her to be a translator (in spite of the fact that they talk in the common language all the time?!) at a performance that night, but cel can't go for obvious reasons.
Nehemiah remarks that Nacho and co. seem to almost be afraid of Cel. At this point, I'm pretty sure they're just locking her up for giggles since she does diddly squat.
The two talk about the Queen, and Nehemiah actually realizes HEY MAYBE DIPLOMACY SHOULD BE A THING TO IMPROVE MY COUNTRIES RELATIONS (no shit you idiot you would come out of the womb knowing that if you're a princess) and has actually been trying to be nice to Clueless Queen Mama.
They hear barking dogs, and see that they're at the kennels. Cel wonders if they're allowed to be there.
"I am Princess of Eyllwe," she said. "I can go wherever you please."Unfortunately, you can't because you're not the Princess of Adarlan. You're still a guest in the castle, and therefore you CAN'T go wherever you want because YOU AREN'T THE MISTRESS OF THE CASTLE you doofus brain.
I hate this woman's attitude.
They go in anyway. There are lots of dogs of many different breeds, apparently. Apparently the Best Assassin Ever was so distracted by puppies that she didn't notice Nehemiah wasn't hanging around with her anymore and disappeared from sight.
Anyway, she finds Nehemiah with Dorian in a pen with a puppy. The dogs they're playing with are mutts Dorian was upset about in the last chapter. There's a larger puppy that doesn't have a friendly personality. Dorian mentions that if the dog doesn't become nicer to people he'll have to put it down. And Cel FLIPS THE FUCK OUT at this.
Celery Stick is an assassin. She kills people for money. She can't handle the thought of a puppy, that was originally planned to be a hunting dog, being killed because it can't handle being around humans.
I'm just going to leave that there.
Dorian pretty much calls Cel on her hypocrisy, stating that putting down dogs painlessly is a common thing. But he gives into this brat and says the dog won't be killed and that he'll find an appropriate home for it. Cel makes him promise.
Wow. This is a total 20th century teenager response. Like, I certainly don't want an animal to be killed just because it has a bad temper, but I live in a place where almost all dogs bred and born are to be pets. This is a place where dogs had a purpose. In the past, people had working dogs. They helped guard their fields and houses, helped hunt, and some even helped carrying things or pulled carts. They had to have certain personalities. If they didn't, it'd be better to get rid of the dog than risk passing on the undesirable traits and losing money and time. Cel should know this. Also she kills people for money so I don't see what HER moral dilemma is.
It's time for Nehemiah to go get ready to chill with Clueless Queen mama, so she asks Cel to walk with her.
Nehemiah, when they're away from the Prince is all OMG DO U LIEK HIM, and Cel is offended at the question (well, not really, but she denies it). Nehemiah points out that they have a "connection".
"It's not a crime if you consider him handsome. I'll admit I judged him wrong; I thought him to be a pompous, selfish idiot, but he's not so bad."
Naw, I'm pretty sure your first impression was right on the money. The Idiot part especially.
Cel then actually does get offended at the idea that Dorian likes her, and says she'd rather "cut my own heart than love a Havilliard."
Spoiler Alert: she totally macks on him later in the book.
The few guards that followed her remained a respectful distance away-a distance that grew greater each day. Based on Chaol's orders?
Nacho is an idiot. Either he's telling the guards to stand back from a dangerous (lol) assassin, which means he's a fool, or the guards are doing whatever the hell they feel like, which means he doesn't have control over his men.
Nacho has no idea what he's doing.
After dropping off Nehemiah, Cel thinks about how easy it would be for her to escape and where she'd go, and it's nothing we haven't heard before. Cain SNEAKS UP ON HER (I should have done a running tally of HOW MANY PEOPLE DO THIS). Apparently he's panting in a weird way, with his hands around his throat. he seems to have gotten a bit bigger in the last few days (MAGIC) and that he's been steadily getting bigger every time Cel sees him (MAGIC YOU GOOBER).
Cain suddenly runs off, so Cel goes back to her rooms and sends messages to her friends Nox and Pelor to stay inside as well.
Chapter 33
Kaltain was smokin' a bowl when Duke came by, so everyone's trying to put things in order before he comes into her rooms. Apparently she's smoking opium, to be precise, and she gets vicious headaches so I guess that makes sense.
She greets the duke, and is still riding high.
Actual footage of Kaltain
She asks why he's visiting, and Duke Perrington says he wanted to know why she wasn't at dinner. She's a bit too high to have a real conversation, and blames it on being unwell. She doesn't dismiss him, and he gives her some compliments. He even says the Prince complimented her, which of course makes her happy.
Though she's upset that the prince's complimenting was interrupted by Cel. She thinks about how she might be able to get rid of "Lady Lillian", but she's too high to really be able to make a concrete thought. They trash talk Cel and it's awesome.
"It's hard to believe someone as disreputable as the Lady Lillian won the heart of the prince."
Oh my, if you only knew.
The Duke wonders what Kaltain knows about "Lady Lillian", but Kaltain says they're just vague rumors. She decides to ask the Duke if he has any information, and finally the pain in her head goes away.
We then get to see Cel reading about Wyrdmark theories again. The book FINALLY remembers she has loudly squeaky hinges (what the hell this book was edited by a drunk cavemen, i swear) and Nehemiah wanders in. She skipped the play and is very upset.
Apparently a legion captured and killed 500 Eyllwe rebels that were hiding. They were supposed to be POWs, but some escaped so the soldiers killed them all. Nehemiah is understandably extremely distraught over this. She feels as if she's failing her people. This scene isn't actually bad at all. Nehemiah isn't being haughty; she's genuinely upset over what happened. She ends the chapter crying in Cel's arms.
Actual footage of this scene
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