Be forewarned, I got crankier than usual writign this post.
Chapter 16
Surprise, surprise, Nacho and Cel are running again. She's still having issues with running. She starts gagging because what the hell. She is going to hurt herself if she runs like this. Both she and Nacho should know better.
Nacho had apparently told her not to eat before they left because he at least knows something.
"Are you done being smug?"
"Are you done vomiting your guts up?"
"For the time being," she snapped. "Perhaps I won't be so courteous next time, and I'll just vomit all over you instead."
Cel, are you five? No? Then stop acting like it.
Anyway, she moves to punch Nacho in the face but her knees are too shaky to carry her that far. Nacho is looking at her scars and he asks when she got them.
When do you think she got whip scars, beetle brain.
And... Cel pretty much replied the exact same way I did. Wow. That was creepy.
There's some chitchat about why she got them and the guards gave her twenty-one lashes on her first day in Endovier. Her worries about the open wounds are pretty well done and I have nothing to snark about that.
Anyway, the morning after she got the whipping, a woman gave her a tin of salve, but four days later she was raped and killed by guards. Yikes. When Cel tried to run away, she went to them and killed them.
Nacho asks hesitantly if Cel was ever raped, and she replies that they were too afraid of her. On the one hand, I certainly don't want any character to be raped. On the other hand, these guys don't seem to be the type to be averse to knocking a girl senseless and raping them. I don't know. Yeesh.
Anyway, if a guard tried to get too close to her, she'd kill him and the other guards would know not to mess with her. I'm wondering why they let this go on. Even if she was supposed to be left alive, there was nothing mentioned about her needing to be alive and whole. Hobbling was a thing that was done.
Not a lot about the salt mines make sense, considering how many slaves they would have to go through just to get it working with any regularity (since their life expectancy was like a month. And add a slave who was killing guards regularly? It makes no sense that Evil King Papa wanted her left alive, since it certainly wasn't his idea to bring her into the competition.
Cel then wonders if Arobynn had bribed the guards for her safety. Which would make a lot more sense, but still, just killing her outright would solve a lot of problems for Evil King Papa.
The next day, Brullo is giving a lecture on weapons. Cel is bored. She notices a movement on a balcony and sees a competitor push a guard to the ground. The competitor tries to escape, and Nacho and the guards shoot him through the throat with an arrow.
A nameless guard has a higher onscreen kill count than Cel does so far. Just in case you were curious.
Why doesn't EKP just use his royal guards to shoot enemies with arrows? SINCE THEY ALREADY WORK FOR HIM.
No reason for this gif except it's Tom Hiddleston shooting a bow
The guards all start checking things out, surrounding the competitors and investigating the murderer and fallen guard.
"Gods above," Nox breathed, so softly that his lips barely moved. "They just. . . killed him."
Um. Yeah. He could have easily killed the guard he knocked unconscious and it's pretty obvious they're the shoot to kill type considering WHO THEY'RE GUARDING AND WHAT THE PEOPLE THEY'RE GUARDING ARE DOING.
Anyway, Nox is talking to himself about how his sponsor granted him immunity and he wouldn't be arrested if he won the competition. Cel is just wondering why the guy chose that moment to snap and try to run.
Sven had wanted to prove a point, she understood, and understood only because of that day she had come within a fingertip of touching the wall at Endovier.
Also Cain has a magic ring that killed that one guy and is allowing him to have fantastic feats of archery but let's not think of the other mysterious goings on.
Adarlan could take their freedom, it could destroy their lives and beat and break and whip them, it could force them into ridiculous contents, but criminal or not, they were still human.
Literally all I got out of that.
Chapter 17
This chapter opens with a character we haven't seen in awhile. That's right, Dorian Gray! *cough* I mean Dorian Havilliard, Prince of Adarlan. Dorian is chillin' on a throne, wanting to sleep. He is grumpy because his mom insisted he attend court. Which. Is. Kind of... his... job...
What.
Dorian thinks about Eye Eater and the dude who tried to run.
What had his father been thinking when he decided to host this contest?
I'm pretty sure any sort of "thinking" wasn't involved.
We finally see Dorian's mom, Clueless Queen Mama. Clueless, because she has no idea about anything that's going on. I'm not just talking about the deaths of the competitors here. She has no idea about the competition at all.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that a Queen has no idea what's going on in this castle, but you know, I should expect this sort of thing from this book.
Clueless Queen Mama is beautiful, but wears too much make up and is going a bit grey. She's dressed up all fancy with a veil and Dorian makes fun of her somewhat in his head. The nobility is just... chilling... like, literally, they're walking around talking and the orchestra is playing. So it's a party?
Dorian is grumpy because he feels like an ornament. His mommy picked out his clothes for him.
CQM and Dorian chat a bit about his little brother Hollin (the sociopathic kid who beat up a servant when he was 9). Clueless Queen Mama is totally a drama queen, asking Dorian to care for Hollin after she's dead. She then goes on saying that Dorian needs to get married soon. Dorian asks who is around to get married to.
Clueless Queen Mama says Princess Nehemiah Tyger, but then is like "lol just kidding I'm a horrible human being". Actually, her issues seem to stem more from Nehemiah being a brat.
"That impetuous, haughty girl-do you know she refused to wear the dress I sent her?"
I know we're supposed to be on Nehemiah's side here, but she is impetuous and haughty, and probably was all nasty about refusing to wear the dress (dresses for nobility are expensive! Take that shit and be a freaking DIPLOMAT instead of offending the shit out of the people who have power over your kingdom).
Dorian then thinks about why his father let Nehemiah stay there.
OKAY CAN I JUST STATE THE OBVIOUS. NEHEMIAH IS THE HEIR APPARENT TO A COUNTRY HE'S TRYING TO OVERTHROW AND SHE HAS THE FREAKING STUPIDITY TO GO TO THIS DUDE'S PALACE.
HOSTAGE.
HOSTAGE.
CAN I SCREAM HOSTAGE ANY LOUDER?
HOSTAGE.
Okay I'm good.
BTW, Dorian too has heard rumors of her rebellion activity so obviously Evil King Papa knows. And no one thinks "Hmm... HOSTAGE."
He also thinks Nehemiah has her own reasons for being there, to which I give a resounding 'DUH'.
God, at this point Eyllwe almost deserves to be overthrown if they're this shitty at politics.
Dorian's mother says that Kaltain would have been a good choice to marry. Dorian is repulsed by this because... god knows why. Her gaze on him makes him uncomfortable, but he is a renowned philanderer so he should get over it, seriously.
They talk about another girl, and Clueless Queen Mama is disapproving of the idea of marrying for love, and that love doesn't guarantee a successful marriage. And well, she's right. Arranged marriages aren't unusual among the RULING CLASS. But whatever, Dorian can want love if he wants, that's fine. But he thinks about how all the women are sooooo boring and any sympathy I have for him is lost because he's such a brat.
He'd hoped his journey to Endovier would quell that boredom, and that he'd be glad to return home, but he found home to be the same.
Blah blah blah, ladies lust after him, councilmen actually expect him to do WORK, his father isn't paying attention to him, gambling on the Contest is boring.
I have no sympathy for this dick
Clueless Queen Mama asks why he's upset. He doesn't reply. The nobles start dancing (so it is a party...). Dorian whines some more about how he can't relate to them. He doesn't like the nobility, except for Nacho.
Clueless Queen Mama continues talking and hands him a piece of paper. It's a list of names of women he could marry. He is angry. Because how dare he marry and secure an heir for the kingdom?
He brushes her off and he leaves the "podium".
Was he giving a speech?!
Girls approach him immediately and start talking to him. Dorian can't remember their names. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Because mostly I just think he's a whiny doofus. He leaves the group of girls to wander around. He ends up at the Champion's training room and OMG IT'S CEL.
She's sparring with... someone? I don't know what's going on. Cel is weaving around guards but it's not clear what they're doing. Nehemiah is there too, and carrying a wooden staff. Dorian is all worried because Cel is hanging around the Princess and it's dangerous, and Brullo and Nacho are gone.
Dorian approaches the two, and Nehemiah barely acknowledges him. He kisses Cel's hand. He leads her away and asks where Nacho is. Apparently he's FINALLY doing his job and is investigating Eye Eater's murder. Nehemiah came by to hang out and Cel's servant sent her to the training room.
They argue. It's stupid.
Cel asks if Dorian is afraid of her. He says he's better at handling his sword than Nacho and it's a dumb double entendre.
Dorian says he can't have Nehemiah hang out there, and Cel asks why not and is all offended (forgetting the fact, once again THAT SHE'S AN ASSASSIN AND IS THEREFORE NOT TRUSTHWORTHY AROUND POLITICAL FIGURES).
They argue again. It's stupid.
Cel and Nehemiah speak in Eyllwe. She is pissy over Dorian's instance that she not hang around Cel. Oh god get over yourself, Nehemiah. You're a guest in their palace. Nehemiah tries to dismiss him, forgetting that SHE HAS NO AUTHORITY OVER HIM AND SHE IS A GUEST IN THEIR PALACE.
Of course Dorian says it's unacceptable for her to spar instead of... coming up with a lie. Then Cel is a dickwad and says that she told Nehemiah that Dorian volunteered to be her first partner.
CAN ALL THESE PEOPEL JUST STOP RIGHT NOW I HATE THEM ALL THIS IS SO STUPID THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS THIS IS HORRIBLE.
Dorian says he won't spar with Nehemiah, but he will spar with Cel and it's all sexual and gross.
Then he ends up showing Nehemiah sword work anyway and dear god thank you this chapter is over.
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