Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Throne of Glass Chapter 5-6

I seem to recall the author saying the original Throne of Glass (called Queen of Glass) was supposed to be a Cinderella retelling, only with Cinderella being an assassin. That makes the whole glass theme make a lot of sense, and for what the original story was (a teenager's offering on the internet), it really wasn't that bad. Obviously a mashup like that would garner a lot of attention, as it certainly caught mine.

I just wish this book had been overhauled so the characters didn't have serious logic fails and were a lot more likable. That would have fixed SO many problems I've already found in the first few chapters. I can forgive a weak plot a LOT if I like the characters.

Sadly, I really, really dislike these dudes.


Chapter Five


If she wanted to break free, she'd have to go through Chaol first. Had they been alone, she might have attempted it, though the chains would make it difficult; but with an entourage of royal guards trained to kill without hesitation. . .

The narration keeps talking about Cel trying to escape like I actually care at this point.

Nacho stays by Cel while they bother to build a fire for a lunch stop (why? what's the point other than wasting time? It's not winter. Why pack a lunch that needs to be cooked?).  Also the dogs are still there and decide to chill out with Cel.

Cel is angry that Nacho doesn't remove her shackles. Because she gets angry about everything and Nacho isn't a dumbass (or too much of one). But then he removes them anyway and puts them on her ankles so she can eat. Cel looks around her to gauge things and where everyone is sitting. She notes that Dorian isn't friendly with Duke Perrington.

While eating, Cel notices that the forest they're chilling out in is different, and then we get some backstory on Cel and her trainer. Apparently Arobynn, the King of the Assassins, saved her but would have gladly turned her over to people who would have killed her if she hadn't accepted his training. She was EIGHT. This dude is a total asshole if he makes an eight year old kid make that kind of decision. Already I hate Arobynn, which I think we're supposed to so woo! Though Cel seems pretty chill about that whole situation now.

Also there's hints that Cel isn't who she appears to be. If someone wants to kill her even when she's 8 years old and she assumed a new identity under the tutelage of Arobynn, I call royalty.

Great that's all we need, an assassin princess. I guess it can be done well, but I'm not holding out hope.

The soldiers bitch about the forest, um, being quiet, and how they can't wait for it to be burned. Cel has to talk and be all "IT'S FULL OF HATE BECAUSE IT'S BANNON'S FOREST" which I guess, from the other soldiers, means that it was full of faeries who are now gone. They argue over trees and fae being immortal and Nacho asks Cel what she knows about the forest.

Cel just says that it was full of magic before Adarlan decided to conquer the world. But she's lying. Because she's probably a faery princess to boot.

With the growing corruption of Adarlan and the king's campaign to hunt them down and execute them, the faeries and Fae fled, seeking shelter in the wild, untouched places of the world. The King of Adarlan had outlawed it all-magic, Fae, faeries-and removed any trace so thoroughly that even those who had magic in their blood almost believed it had never really existed, Celaena herself being one of them. 

Also there's some confusion on whether the King had banned the magic and there for it was gone, or if it left of it's own volition. The book can't keep this straight so I'm going to ignore it.

Though if Cel had magic, then people would definitely remember it still. So that little sentence is a bit meh. I mean, the whole "forgetting about this aspect of magic" thing worked in the Sword of Truth series because it was clear it was a consequence of Richard's magic and choices, but in here it's like "oh, there is no physical reminder so I forgot teehee".

So the King burned the shit out of everything that was even slightly magical related (including people). Cel is sort of glad her magic vanished. The book is saying that it might have destroyed her at this point, and it's difficult to figure out whether it's because magic is volatile or if because she might have been murdered simply for having magic.

Actual footage of the King of Adarlan


Lunch is over after Cel thinks some more about magic and magical creatures. Nacho has to help Cel back onto her horse because she's super stiff. She also complains about the horse sweat smell.

She's still really achy when they stop (you try riding a horse for the first time in a very long time and not feel sore). When she wakes up the next morning, she sees flowers at the foot of her cot and tiny footprints that lead away. She destroys the footprints before anyone else sees. Faeries still exist in the forest, and Cel is very nervous that they'll be discovered.

These are some short chapters.

Chapter Six

It takes two weeks for the company to travel along through the countryside and apparently there's icy rain so I have no idea what season this is supposed to be.

Everything was wet and half-frozen, and while she could bear sodden hair, she couldn't withstand the agony of wet shoes.

Wet shoes are unequivocally the WORST. Also extremely dangerous if you don't dry out your feet properly. I once looked up trench foot while reading about WWI and wanted to cry.

Okay we finally get a season, it's autumn.  Yay. Though I'm surprised the leaves changing color wasn't really mentioned when they camped out in a FOREST. But whatever. Dorian comes by her, and he's dressed all fancy and he's mentioned as being very handsome because, damned if I know.

He tells Nacho to bring "that one" as they go to see some view. It turns out to be the castle (and why would Dorian Gray over there be all OMG WE HAVE TO SEE it since he lives there and probably sees the view all the time? I don't know I like to over think things).

It was gargantuan, a vertical city of shimmering, crystalline towers and bridges, chambers and turrets, domed ballrooms and long, endless hallways. It had been built above the original stone castle, and cost a kingdom's wealth to construct.
My only problem with this is I'm wondering how it was built over the stone castle... is it just a glass facade? I know a lot of people had problems with the idea of a glass castle, thinking it impractical or dumb or whatever, but I actually really like the idea, as it's very fairy tale fantasy. It reminds me of the Disney palace in the old fashioned logo.

Ladies and Gentleman, my childhood.


Cel thinks about the castle the first time she saw it eight years earlier. And I'm thinking that it was right after the first time she killed a man (at age 10. How is this chick so bratty again? Killing at such a young age messes you up).

Anyway, Dorian decides that they're still too far away to go any further that day and they camp out where they are. Nacho drops the non-sequitur of wondering what the king is going to think about Cel.

"Oh, he'll be fine-until she opens her mouth. Then the bellowing and the blustering will begin, and I'll regret wasting the past two months tracking her down. . ."

Waitaminute, I thought it was common knowledge that Adarlan's Assassin was captured and I'm PRETTY sure it would be fairly easy for Dorian to be like "yo, where that bitch at" for them to be all "The salt mines, where do you think?"

Dorian seems pretty incompetent, but that's just me.

The soldiers set up camp and Nacho and Cel have a conversation about the city and how Cel was captured. Cel thinks one of the other assassins betrayed her in effort to get her out of their way so they can get better jobs.

Well if you can't trust an assassin (Cel didn't). I call that it was the King of Assassins or whatever his name was.

"Endovier must have been terrible," Chaol said.


WTF, Nacho.

Actual footage of Nacho's next stunning observation. 

Cel explains just HOW it was terrible (Apparently they DID cut her hair? WTF why is it still holding a glimmer of beauty if it's all short and crap? CONSISTENCY PLEASE). Apparently she also had more than one whipping so why does she only have 3 scars. Also they rubbed salt into her wounds so why does she only have 3 scars. Apparently other prisoners helped tend to her back so the wounds wouldn't get infected (though I highly doubt it would have helped much in that environment. Water would be far too precious to spend hours cleaning some random prisoner's back considering people are DEHYDRATING TO DEATH).

Anyway we skip to Cel waking up from a nightmare. It's just the standard fare of a mass grave in Endovier and being dragged into a pile of bodies. 

Also apparently the weather is unseasonably warm (what about the icy rain? Is it just this one night? I DON'T UNDERSTAND) so they just sleep out in the open. The castle is growing sort of greenish. She mostly just thinks to herself some random stuff about serving the king, magic being dead, and the Fae.

It's a pretty pointless scene as we switch to Dorian's point of view at the same time. Dorian finds her beautiful and it's not unreasonable to think maybe she filled out in the couple weeks they were riding, but it's still weird I"m sorry. It's all very weird and romantic and equally as pointless as it only serves for Dorian to find her interesting but REMEMBER SHE'S AN ASSASSIN. He considers her "his" champion instead of his father's. He lays down with his sword and he dreams of her image.

This chapter was kind of a mess.

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