Chapter 26
Nacho barges in on Cel. She's grumpy and crawls back into bed because she's a bratty brat. Nacho just rips off the covers and asks where she was the night before.
She says she was in her room all night, because she was there when he gave her the ring. He asks where she was the rest of the night. She tries to brush off the question, asking if there's a Test that day.
Nacho reveals another competitor was found dead, one of the thieves. The body was half-eaten.
Cel blames Cain (hey! So do I! Nice!). Cel wonders if it has ANYTHING to do with the evil Elena warned her about. No shit, it's like he's practically screaming he's guilty every time he's mentioned.
Nawwww, Hannibal couldn't possibly be evil! (Hannibal Season 1 Summary)
Of course Cel's suspicion is based solely on the fact that he's from the White Fang Mountains and it sounds kind of racist, to be honest. Nacho tells her to watch what she says. She argues. It's a dumb little thing.
Anyway, Cel continues to claim that she stayed in her room the whole time, and to ask the guards if he doesn't believe her. Nacho tells her they won't be training today either, and she's soooo excited.
Wasn't she complaining awhile back that she needed to train to get her strength back? What a lazy bum. She tells Nacho to leave, which he does. She thinks a bit about her dream (but it wasn't a dream she immediately thinks... then why did it say it was a dream? I DON'T KNOW) and wonders if one of the gargoyles or whatever had killed Xavier. Then she figures some vermin had probably eaten him because they couldn't get up from where they were in the tomb.
Never underestimate a cannibal in search for more manflesh
Cel makes more "makeshift weapons" though we don't get to see her stunning creations (piano strings? anyone?)
She then goes down to the tomb to look around. She sees nothing that "explained Elena's motives". She's a ghost, cupcake, unless you have psychic powers you're shit out of luck. She wonders how there's so much light in the tomb.
Sure enough, the sides of the shaft shimmered-they were lined with polished gold. A lot of gold, if it meant reflecting the sun's rays all the way down here.A tomb, sarcophogi, light reflecting down to light everything... where have I seen this before?
Best movie Ever
By the way, Cel brought 3 of her "makeshift weapons." That is such an awkward phrase, since "shiv" is a word that exists for what she's done. She asks, out loud, why Elena told her to do these things. Don't you know, you have a Destiny™!
You know, I actually agree with Cel on this. Maybe not for exactly the same reasons, but going with what the author said her backstory is and what one usually thinks of when it comes to assassins... If I were in her position I wouldn't want to have some Epic Destiny™ either. I'd just want to get my money, kill people, and be left alone. Also I have no idea why the dead Fae Queen thinks Cel is her ONLY HOPE considering what a lazy asshole she is.
But whatever.
Cel also realizes that if anyone finds out about what happened with Elena, she could be accused of both treason and magic using. I like this bit. It makes sense with what we know of the world and Evil King Papa and I'm glad Cel realizes this too. A bit of intelligence there. Cel leaves the tomb after finding nothing of any use. She decides spending her time in the tomb could hurt her chances of being the Champion, and goes back to her room, all the while thinking she might not try to find this evil.
That's more like what an assassin might think, and I'm utterly shocked.
An hour later, Cel walks to the library.
She smiled at the young chevaliers as they passed-and smirked at the court women who eyed her pink-and-white gown. She couldn't blame them; the dress was spectacular. And she was spectacular in it. Even Ress, one of the handsomer guards posted outside her rooms, had said so. Naturally it hadn't been too difficult to convince him to escort her to the library.We get it, Celebration is the hottest things on two legs and even guards are brought down by her hotness.
Two things.
1. Shitty guards
and
2. I'd love to see Cel use this to her advantage in some aspect other than going to library, but she won't.
She also smiles at some nobleman who gapes at her (and is immensely pale?). Anyway, she hears dudes arguing so she hurries up. She can smell blood and decomposing flesh.
Could only make this book better
She sees Xavier's body. Ress tries to get her to keep walking. The death scene is pretty gruesome. Someone used his blood to make Wyrdmarks on the wall, but they'd been rubbed away or at least someone tried to.
He'd thought she did this? Fool. If she wanted to knock off her competitors one by one, she'd do it quick and clean-a slit throat, a knife in the heart, a poisoned glass of wine.
EXCUSE ME, BACK THE FUCK UP. YOU WERE LAUGHING AT PELOR FOR USING POISONS. NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL 'ooooh quick and clean death OH I KNOW POISONS'
Oh, and by the way, a slit throat is anything but clean.
She notes the wyrdmarks made the killing ritualistic. She sees Grave, who's also staring at the body. They exchange terse words (nothing really worth mentioning), and Cel continues walking. There are 16 competitors left.
We switch to Dorian (bleeeeeeh) and Nacho sparring. Nacho teases him for being idle and not working out. They banter about Dorian's meetings and his arguments with Duke Perrington. Nacho makes some comment about Dorian and Cel. They talk about that, with Dorian telling Nacho he hasn't done anything with her except talk.
Dorian then counters by asking why Nacho went to Cel's room the night a competitor dies. Because the thought that Nacho might be checking on a DANGEROUS ASSASSIN is foreign to him. Whether or not the murder had taken place right now, I figure it would be self-explanatory.
Dorian, are you that freaking stupid?!
Nacho doesn't give him a real answer..... instead of just saying, "I wanted to make sure she wasn't up to shenanigans on this night when everyone's superstitious".
Taking the time to spar with him when there was a fresh corpse in the castle was a sacrifice Dorian was surprised Chaol had been willing to make; Dorian knew how much his position meant to him.
Obviously not very much since he spends all his time babysitting Cel.
Nacho then brings up Evil King Papa and how no one knows where he went. Apparently he used to do this when Dorian was a child. Dorian wonders out loud if someone wants to kill all the champions.
Obviously the idea that a competitor is killing their competition doesn't occur to him either.
God, even a turtle could figure out this "mystery". What the hell, Dorian.
Nacho pretty much says that he could see someone taking out the competition, but doing it so viciously is strange.
"I hope it's not a pattern."
In the immortal words of Stiles Stilinski, "Once is an incident, twice is a coincidence. Three is a pattern."
IT'S A PATTERN. THREE PEOPLE FROM THE SAME GROUP ARE FOUND DEAD IN THE SAME WAY. HALF EATEN WITH THEIR ORGANS REMOVED.
IT'S A GODDAMN PATTERN ALREADY.
SDFKJA;SDKLJ;LKASJRL;KJ
Nacho added extra guards to Cel's room and says it doesn't really make a difference, because the Prince will visit her no matter what he says.
Nacho you are the shittiest captain of the guard if you can't even protect the person you swore to protect. Dorian briefly feels bad that he's making Nacho worry because he's visiting Cel (instead of the fact SHE'S A DEADLY ASSASSIN). Then he's all like "well, I would listen to him, but my mom is really pissing me off with this marriage thing so FUCK ANYONE ELSE DORIAN DOES WHAT HE WANTS."
Ugh are we supposed to like Dorian? Because his selfishness even goes beyond Cel's self-centeredness. I hate him so freaking much right now I can't even articulate it.
Nacho leaves to go inspect the dead body again.
Chapter 27
Cel is staring at the clock tower. It seems to grow darker and the Gargoyles aren't moving. Cel is a bit cranky because Elena didn't straight up say what was going on, and I agree with Cel AGAIN (this is starting to scare me) because that crap always bugs me. It's part of why I liked Richard's attitude in the Sword of Truth novels. More than once he's like GAH RIDDLES ARE STUPID whenever he gets a Dire Prophecy™ and then goes and does whatever he wants anyway.
Nehemiah Tyger is there, and she asks why Cel's obsessed with the Gargoyles.
Sadly not these Gargoyles.
Nehemiah's language skills have improved in just one lesson. Damn, I wish I had those skills. Then I'd regain my German fluency and remember all of my Russian grammar rules.
Cel notes that there are 12 wyrdmarks that form a large circle around the tower. I'm assuming they're on the ground or on the pathway since all it says is "at her feet" in regards to the one closest to Cel. For all I know half of them could be on trees, other outlying buildings, who knows where.
Nehemiah tells Cel to stop worrying about the wyrdmarks because nothing good can come of them. She's pretty curt about it.
It's very close to winter, as snow is threatening to fall any day now. The final duel is two months away. She thinks about the winter she had in Endovier, and it's pretty much straight up a miracle she didn't lose any toes to frostbite.
Nehemiah has never seen snow, and Cel doesn't like winter. Nehemiah asks Cel to go to Eyllwe with her when she goes home and mentions how hot their summers are. Cel thinks this is a good idea, because she does want to see Eyllwe.
Cel changes the subject to the murder. They discuss that for a bit, and we get nothing we haven't heard before. Nehemiah is visibly bothered by the details of the body. Cel tries to apologize, and Cain and Verin are by the clock tower and interrupted them. Why these two, especially a known thief like Verin, are allowed to wander around without escorts is another failing, NACHO.
Cel notes it seems that Cain has gotten even bigger (IT'S FREAKIN' MAGIC WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED! IT'S MAGIC!). Cain taunts both Cel and Nehemiah, saying they're pretending at being a lady and princess respectively. Cel threatens Cain if he doesn't shut up, and it only makes him laugh.
No, but seriously, why are they allowed to wander around? Why is Cel allowed to wander around alone with Nehemiah? WHERE ARE THE GUARDS. NACHO.
I am very disappointed in you, Nacho.
Inside the castle, the guards remained loitering about, talking amongst themselves.
How the hell can Cel see what's going on inside the castle? All of these guards need to be fired, by the way. It's like in the past few chapters Nacho and his men have gotten exponentially worse at their jobs. INSTEAD OF MORE VIGILANT AFTER THREE MURDERS.
Cel and Cain taunt each other more. Cain makes it clear he knows who Cel really is (um, his sponsor is Duke Perrington. WHY WOULDN'T THE DUKE TELL CAIN?! Come on, it's actually surprising that this news didn't spread before now).
Cain pretty much says the same thing, saying that his sponsor is willing to do anything to win. She thinks about how punching him twice would put him out (I doubt that, dude is both magical and GIGANTIC and he can see you telegraphing your clenched fist because he's not an idiot). Nehemiah is understandably nervous and tries to get Cel to leave. Cel decides not to brawl in the gardens because she might not be able to have as much freedom as she had. She tells him to shove it, and leaves.
We then switch to Nacho and Dorian sitting on the mezzanine in the training room. They're watching Cel punch some dummy. Nacho hopes that watching her train will impress upon Dorian that she's dangerous and he should stay away.
Dorian notes that she looks stronger and asks if she can beat Cain.
Nacho pretty much says that if she doesn't throw a tantrum that she has a shot.
"But she's . . . wild. And unpredictable. she needs to learn to control her feelings-especially with that impossible anger."
People who cannot control their emotions or their actions under those emotions do not become the most famous assassin in a kingdom. UNLESS that "fame" is everyone knowing who she is because she is the WORST. I'm glad Nacho is pointing out that Cel has major issues, as it is consistent with her characterization. It's just not consistent with the role the story is trying to shove onto her. As always.
Also, I am sick to death of the ellipses because they are literally never used correctly. I can tell it's a holdover from the fictionpress days, but the editor really should have nixed ALL of them (that and the em dashes). Ellipses (the three dots) don't indicate a hesitation or someone trailing off as they are VERY often used in fanfiction and, I hate to say it, video games (which is where I picked up the habit when I was fond of using them). An ellipses indicates that a word or several words have been omitted. I have used them in that way in this review, but I'm afraid the meaning got lost as a lot of the excerpts I've posted have used them incorrectly.
Nacho thinks her rage might have come from "just being an assassin." Nacho you are the worst.
Nox comes in and he and Cel are all friendly. This mystifies Dorian. Nacho says he could put an end to it if Dorian wants, but he says she needs an ally. Nacho notes that Dorian is jealous of Nox.
A few days later, Cel is reading again. This time, however, she's doing something useful and researching the Wyrdmarks. Though with Evil King Papa burning magical tomes, I'm not sure how much information she expects to find.
Speaking of burning magic, I wonder how much of religion EKP tried to do away with. I mean, he has no problem destroying knowledge and information, how much of magic was tied into religion? It would be nice to know these things, but we'll never know. We know barely anything about the beliefs of this world, except the Halloween festivities. It'd be one thing if this information was dealt out slowly over time, but that's obviously not going to happen. I mean, Dorian spent hours in temple and we saw none of it except that he was bored. So, yeah.
Cel finds nothing. Because why would she?
Nacho is also there, reading a novel. I think I'm going to stop pointing out how much time he's wasting chillin' around Cel because that would take up the entire review. Just mentally insert me bitching about it every time it comes up. Cel didn't tell Nacho that Cain knows who she is. or that the wyrdmarks are connected to the murders. Because...? It's not like she has a lot to lose here.
Nacho teases her about reading in her spare time and she thinks about how merciless he is in their training. Cel supposes "she likes him". Bleh.
Cel is frustrated she can't find any information on an ancient language from a forgotten time (sweetie, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but. . . . . . . . . )(see what i did there).
Though she DOES find some information about Wyrdmarks!! They aren't an alphabet, just a bunch of symbols that changed depending on what symbols are with them.
Nacho tells her to stop sulking and asks what she's reading. She sort of admits it's about Wyrdmarks.
"All I can find is just . . . just radical and outlandish theories. I never knew any of this. Why?"
I don't know how, in a land purged of magic and magical knowledge, a young woman who spent her life training to be an assassin wouldn't know what the hell a wyrdmark is supposed to do. Your guess is as good as mine, Cellular Phone.
Nacho says he thought Wyrd meant fate or destiny (you know, like it does in the real world I live in). Cel says it's not a religion, and that it's a force that "governs countless other worlds, too" or something to that effect. So, is this like the parallel universe theory? Is there a world where I exist and punch you in the face?
They discuss a bit more about the Goddess (that she could be a spirit from another world) and we FINALLY get some religion world building. Nacho would have remembered the "burnings and execustions" ten years earlier (right after he says Cel's theory is sacrilegious... so is Evil King Papa's reign of terror intent on holding up some version of a religion? I NEED TO KNOW), and Cel wonders what it would have been like back then.
Ten years ago you were found on a river bank and brought here to Rifthold. You would freakin' know, Cel.
"Can I be honest with you?" Chaol moved closer, and Celaena leaned into meet him as he whispered: "You sound like a lunatic."
Okay, I forgive you a little bit Nacho Cheese Pizza
Cel isn't amused, and tells Nacho she just wants to know what the Wyrdmarks do. and why they remain after Evil King Papa outlawed magic.
Nacho tells her to stop being weird, and Cel wonders why he's there instead of his guards. Honey, he's always there, why are you all of a sudden now wondering this?
There's some internal monologue about the Wyrdmarks and she again says she'd never heard of them. The gates are apparently invisible, and things can pass through.
It was due to this that many of the strange and fell creatures of Erilea existed.
Strange Creatures Seen In This Novel Halfway Through: 0
Chances of a Strange Creature Popping Up Soon: 100%
OH MY GOD
YOU GUYS
Celaena pulled another book toward her and grinned. It was as if someone had read her mind. It was a large black volume entitled The Walking Dead in tarnished silver letters.
I will literally take back everything I said about Throne of Glass if the book ends up being this.
Seriously, was the editor very, very stoned when they were going through this book? Because this is hilarious.
Anyway, how the book ends up in Cel's possession is a mystery, because she doesn't remember grabbing it. It smells like soil (!!!) and there's an illustration of a half-decayed face in the book. Cel wonders how it escaped the purge of magic.
IT'S BECAUSE IT'S JUST A COMIC BOOK, YO!
This is the best thing that's ever happened to this book
The Walker
monster gives Cel the creeps so she closes the book. Nacho noticed nothing, but Cel starts to hear a strange noise. She tries to look at the book again and she keeps hearing a strange noise below her. Nacho decides to be a weirdo and he reveals he was making the noise with his dagger on the floor (How did she not notice him leaning over sine he's sitting in a chair? is the chair super low to the ground? is Nacho in a BEAN BAG CHAIR).
Cel is pissed and leaves, but she doesn't take the Walking Dead with her because she doesn't know good entertainment.
I LAUGH EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME OKAY
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