Chapter 17
The chapter opens with Nacho realizing that Cel is really pissy. He makes her stand guard outside. Nacho himself stands guard where he can keep an eye on her too. This is a big party for Hollin, Joffery-lite.
Nacho thinks about how Joffrey-lite is going to be a terrible person when he grows up. I think all of you are terrible people, so what of it?
Prince Fizzbitch is dancing with a bunch of ladies (not all at the same time). Nacho turns to look at Cel, but she disappeared. Nacho is pissy that she broke the rules, so he breaks the rules himself to go find her.
Apparently she left her post to dance outside. She's waltzing with herself. When she turns around, she seems him and stops. She then decides to blame Nacho for her abandoning her post, more out of embarrassment than anything else.
"You're the greatest assassin Erilea, and yet you can't stand watch for a few hours?"
Seriously! All she had to do was stand there!
Cel is grumpy at having to watch couples act all high school and getting to second base and Prince Fizzbitch dancing with people. Nacho wonders if she's jealous, and she claims she's not. Nacho is amused by all of this and thinks about how much in love he is with her without actually saying so.
When Cel asks what her punishment will be, he asks her to dance.
POV switch to Cel. She's a bit flabbergasted by the question. They argue about this bullshit for a bit, and finally she takes his hand.
"We'll never be a normal boy and girl, will we?" she managed to say.
OMG apparently the music "explodes around them" (they're outside....). They dance some more.
In that moment, after ten long years, Celaena looked at Chaol and realized she as home.
Until the next book, of course.
Prince Fizzbitch is watching the two dance. He wanted to get air, but he saw them dancing and stopped. Nehemiah joins him in watching the two. She tells him to stay clear of Cel and Nacho. She talks about their responsibilities as royals and how no one could understand what that means. Or something.
Fizzbitch is pretty chill about that, and tells her that he already chose to move on. Nehemiah brings up Rolaids and says that he told her Evil King Papa is going to make some labor camp even bigger for more slaves. Rolaids wants Nehemiah to get behind this because he is shitty at politics.
Prince Fizzbitch is rightly concerned about this and Nehemiah asks him to speak to EKP. When he says he can't, Nehemiah tries to play on his sympathies and feelings for Cel. She calls him on leaving all the slaves behind in Endovier when he found Cel.
Fizzbitch continues to say it's too complicated and dangerous for him to get involved. Nacho admonishes him by saying he has more power than he realizes. She touches his chest and traces a symbol on it, saying the power is sleeping.
And why, when she had said them, something ancient and slumbering deep inside of him had opened an eye.
Oh crap, he's going to have magic, isn't he?
Chapter 18
Cel is having tea at Archer's house. Or should be, she hasn't touched the tea. Well, she did eat because she's a glutton. Archer isn't there, so she's waiting for him. She thinks to the night before and how after she and Nacho danced, he threatened to throw her in the icy pond and left and pretended the dance never happened.
She had a hard time concentrating on learning Wyrdmarks with Nehemiah because she can't stop thinking about nacho's booty.
Archer finally arrives, and Cel demands that he give her more information. They argue about how much time he needs to get the info. She needs their plans and and how much they know, not just names.
"What about the Crown Prince? And the Captain of the Guard? Perhaps they have the information you need."
Yes, they have information on men they don't know and don't hang out with and probably have never seen before in their lives and probably don't even know exist.
HOW WOULD THEY HAVE THAT SORT OF INFORMATION YOU DRUNKEN LEMUR?
Archer asks if they know he's going to fake his death, and Cel says no. Archer accuses her of not trusting them, and she gets even more pissy. She gives him six days to get her more information.
POV switch to Prince Fizzbitch. He's checking up on Calaculla, the labor camp Nehemiah was talking about. He's in disbelief over the number of slaves there. He's in some sort of council meeting. The narration points out Evil King Papa's black ring. Evil ring is evil.
Rolaids also has an evil ring of evil that matches Perrington's and EKP's. GOD THEY'RE NOT SECRET CLUB RINGS THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY EVIL.
Rolaids gives a report on how there are too many slaves to do too little work. They want to move more slaves to another site to mine iron deposits. Prince Fizzbitch finally wonders about the fact that all three wear the same ring. He also wonders about the poor slaves and their treatment. He then asks about them, and Rolaids is a dick and is like "they'll sleep in the mines."
Fizzbitch then suggests letting some of the slaves go. Which is a fine sentiment but a really, really stupid thing to say. Evil King Papa reminds him of this.
"Is this the plan? Now that we've conquered the continent, you'll throw everyone in Calaculla or Endoveir, until there's no one left in the kingdoms but people from Adarlan?"
Again, he's not wrong, but man his timing and phrasing sucks. He even further digs himself a hole and tells them off. Like. I understand why he's saying these things. Slavery is horrible, and everything about this situation is horrible. But you don't piss off your crazy dad who has been abusive to you in the past. Politics is about diplomacy and working your way around issues to get the outcome you desire. Not sitting there and mouthing off. Pissing people off doesn't change their minds. Especially when they're crazy and evil.
EKP threatens to kick him out of the council meeting. Fizzbitch votes no on the expansion proposal and leaves. Oh, I forgot to mention that this whole time Prince Fizzbitch has been growing more and more angry, and now he feels "freezing cold" and it fuels his rage. He wanders around the castle and ends up punching a wall.
Instead of breaking his hand, the wall cracks.
The crack grows and ends up shattering a window.
PLEASE BE HALLUCINATING BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.
Fizzbitch's hands are unharmed. There's glass all around, except in a circle around him.
It wasn't possible. Because magic--
Magic. . .
Dorian dropped to his knees and was violently sick.
DAMMIT.
We switch to Cel, who's in Nacho's rooms on his couch and whining about how he doesn't have a servant to bring them food. What a lazy dick.
Cel doesn't like being in her room, so close to Elena and the dumbass door knocker, because she has absolutely no freaking desire to solve the mystery of the EVIL ALL AROUND HER or, you know, do something useful with her life.
They bicker about her eating habits. They tussle a bit, with Nacho grabbing her foot and her pulling it away.
Nacho gets up to go get her chocolate cake because he is an enabling asshole. They sit around being lazy and eating half a cake (damn). Cel is thinking about Nehemiah talking about the courts long ago that were honorable.
It could rise again, if we could find more men like him.
I have nothing to say to that.
Of course, EKP would destroy that sort of court. Because he's Evil. Cel then thinks about having a life with Nacho. She leaves with the chocolate cake.
She's walking back to her rooms when she sees Fizzbitch sitting on the floor. He says he's looking for Nehemiah, and thought she might be at Cel's rooms. Cel notices the hallway is very cold. He starts to walk away and Cel asks him what's wrong.
Cel thinks he sees some magic or something (I'm assuming that's what she means) in his eyes. But he's like "Nothing. Peace." and leaves.
No comments:
Post a Comment