So Celery Stick is full of rage. She thinks to herself that she is a "weapon forged to end lives" (which just makes me laugh at this point) and that if they hurt Nacho she's going to kill everyone. She heads on to the warehouse, armed to the teeth. She makes it to the warehouse and climbs the side of the building.
Blah, blah, lots of words about the slums and how Cel feels the night or whatever. Also lots of description of the warehouse.
So she's looking over a ledge of a nearby building and is getting lots of description of the inside of the warehouse. I don't know, it's confusing. Somehow she can see Nacho chained to a wall.
She'd been called Adarlan's Assassin for a reason. Dramatic entrances were practically her art form.
HOW DID AN EDITOR LET THIS SLIP PAST? HOW DID EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO READ THIS BOOK NOT KNOW WHAT A FUCKING ASSASSIN IS?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I DON'T! THE STUPID IS PHYSICALLY PAINFUL. I WANT TO FIND EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS BOOK AND BEAT THEM WITH A HARDBACK COPY OF IT OH MY GOD HOW HOW HOW HOW HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Okay so this bitch backs up and runs, and manages to jump from the roof, across whatever alley is between the two buildings, and through an open window, and onto a mezzanine.. Great, now we're in Assassin's Creed. Which I wouldn't have minded except SHE SPENT THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF OF THE BOOK EATING BREAKFAST IN BED AND GOSSIPING WITH HER DUMB FRIENDS, NOT TO MENTION HOW RIDICULOUSLY BORING THE FIRST BOOK WITH HER FLIRTING WITH PRINCE FIZZBITCH INSTEAD OF SHOWING US THOSE POINTLESS TESTS.
She kills two archers with throwing daggers, and the other two archers patiently wait for her to do that and kill them before even trying to get a shot off. She flips off the mezzanine before the other archers can kit her. The other men in the warehouse scatter. Cel draws two swords and "unleashes".
The archers won't try to hit her because they might hit one of their own guys. Nacho wants to get out of his chains and help her.
And at last--after all these months--he saw the lethal predator he'd expected to find in the mines. There was nothing human in her eyes, nothing remotely merciful. It froze his heart.
BTW this is the chick who was whining about dry chicken and cold floors in the first book.
One of the men tries to shout at her to stop, but she won't listen. She leaves "moaning bodies" in her wake as she heads towards Nacho. Another, hooded man tells everyone to put down their weapons. Cel doesn't listen.
"There are worse things out there to face!"
Celaena slowly turned to him, her face splattered with blood and eyes blazing bright. "No, there aren't," she said. "Because I'm here now."
Only I could look at a scene with multiple dead and wounded and be 100% unimpressed
The hooded dude is trying to make peace and says that maybe their methods were wrong, and Cel is having none of it. She doesn't want the "bloodletting to end". She turns to the guard and smiles at him, and he charges, and there's a big ol' fight again.
Frankly....
Cel overreacted to an insane degree. I mean yeah, Nacho was taken prisoner, but she didn't even assess the situation other than seeing where people were. She didn't try to find out any information from anyone about why they took Nacho or who these men were or what they might be planning, she just went in guns a-blazing. It just makes her look really fucking stupid. It also makes her look insane. She has no idea who these people are. The books tried to set her up as some moral assassin, so she never killed anyone. And then when she snaps, she's a completely different person, but still dumb as a box of rocks. It's cognitive dissonance. At one point, Cel cherishes life. At another, she fucking loses all control to the point where she wants to kill people just because they took her boyfriend away.
This isn't an assassin. Any decent assassin worth their salt wouldn't snap like this unless something hugely major traumatized them or snapped their sanity. I don't buy that Nacho is so very precious to her after having sex with him for a week that she would go on a killing rampage. None of it works with the previously established character, either the one the book wants us to see or the one we actually saw.
In short, this scene makes me think the author looked at all the criticism for the first book and decided to actually make Cel do "assassin stuff" but still fundamentally misunderstands what being an assassin actually entails.
Moving along, Archer is there and is shouting her name. He takes an arrow for her. At this point I'd just let the bitch die. Cel throws another knife at the guy who shot Archer. Archer manages to get up, as he was only shot in the shoulder, and moves between Cel and the other men, and it's clear he's protecting them from her.
He tries to say it's a misunderstanding, and Cel realizes he's part of the group and he's the one who set her up.
She tries to go for another dagger, but Archer is like "let me explain!" Cel tells him to unchain Nacho. They finally do. Cel says they have one sentence to explain before she kills everyone. So Archer does.
"I have been working with Nehemiah to lead these people for the past six months."
THIS IS WHY YOU FIND OUT SHIT BEFORE YOU KILL PEOPLE YOU DICKWAD
Archer tells the men to leave, and they do, dragging their wounded compatriots and leaving the dead. The man from before is staring at her in "awe and disbelief" and Cel wonders what he thinks of her. I dunno, you deserve to be thought of as a monster. but he leaves too.
Archer continues to explain that he's leading this group along with Nehemiah. She's the one who organized the group and that their purpose was to go into Terrasen to start an army. Cel tries to say that it's impossible and Archer pretty much laughs in her face.
She remembers how Nehemiah tried to brush off that one riddle she found in Davis' office and that Fizzbitch had tried to find her but she was out. She goes to that warehouse to give them information. She then asks where Nehemiah is, and Archer tells her to ask Nacho.
He says he doesn't know, and Archer accuses him of lying. Archer's sources told him that the king told Nacho about the death threat on Nehemiah, and he asks if Nacho was planning on telling anyone about it. Um, he did increase the guards around her? That is a thing that happened.
Archer then says they took Nacho to question him about the questions they posed to Nehemiah (this is confusing), and Nacho argues with him because they never questioned him. Archer says they realized that as well and says that they're not going to be questioning Nehemiah and acting like Nacho knew they'd be torturing her. Cel moves away from him and asks where Nehemiah is. She chose to stay at the castle of her own volition, by the way. He implies they're going to kill her.
Chapter 29
Cel is running towards the castle, hoping to get there before they kill Nehemiah. She knows she can't go through the front gate, so she tries to jump the stone wall at the garden. She scrambles over the wall before the guards even saw her.
Okay, but she smacked into the wall... they didn't hear that? Whatever, I don't even care any more. I don't know why they wouldn't let her in... It's not like they know what she's been up to. Anyway, she heads into the castle and passes by Prince Fizzbitch. She runs for Nehemiah's rooms.
She was Adarlan's Assassin--she was Celaena Sardothien. She would not fail. The gods owed her. The Wyrd owed her.
Wait, she literally just slaughtered a bunch of innocent men and she thinks the gods owe her.
I wish I had that much of a ballsy attitude to think life owes me something after I slaughter innocents
She nears Nehemiah's rooms and draws two daggers. She slams into the door and manages to "explode" through the locks (I call bullshit but I'm so tired I don't care to explain why). There's blood all over the room, and the bodyguards were all killed with their entrails hanging out. Nehemiah is on the bed, dead.
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