Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Crown of Midnight Ch. 30-32

I am so not ready for this, y'all.


Chapter 30

This is officially Part 2, but it picks up a second where the last chapter left off.

Nehemiah's body is "artfully" mutilated.

All I can think of is Hannibal

People come into the room, including Prince Fizzbitch. He's crying, and Cel is having something of a Blue Screen of Death moment and she reaches out and touches Fizzbitch's tears. Nacho is saying her name, and she immediately thinks that Nacho knew they were going to kill Nehemiah, even though he clearly said that he was told they were going to question her. 

So she tries to kill him because fuck everything.

She manages to scratch is face, but he manages to get her to the ground. Instead of having his guards come and help him restrain her, he tells them to stay back. 

And then she was snarling, snarling like some kind of wild animal as she snapped for his neck. He reared back, throwing her against the marble floor again. "Stop."

Holy shit she has completely gone insane. Nacho thinks that the Cel he knew was gone. She manages to get a dagger and tries to stab him. But he catches her wrists.

INSTEAD OF HAVING HIS GUARDS RESTRAIN HER HE CALLS THEM OFF AGAIN GODDAMMIT NACHO YOU ARE THE FUCKING STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKER.



Nacho tries to talk her down but it doesn't work because HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT.

Cel calls him her enemy. Because she's also a fucking idiot. She throws more weight behind the dagger, but it doesn't stab him, because Prince Fizzbitch's magic stopped it. Ress knocks her out.


Chapter 31

Nacho takes Cel to the dungeons and puts her in a cell by Coltrane's (I MISSED COLTRANE). Prince Fizzbitch wants to give Cel his cloak, but Nacho wont' let him because he figures she'd use it to do something, I don't know. Nacho stripped her of all her weapons.

Nacho tells Coltrane to not interact with Cel, and leaves with Fizzbitch following him. Fizzbitch is really sad that Nehemiah is dead, and it's nto nearly as overwrought as Cel's grief was. So... Wow. Am I starting to like Prince Fizzbitch even more?

Apparently the only person who noticed that Fizzbitch used magic was Cel. Nacho tells Prince Fizzbitch what happened.

Also, apparently Cel fucking outran Nacho on a horse.

Are you FUCKING kidding me.

Nacho again insists that he had no idea that Nehemiah was going to be killed. Prince Fizzbitch says that it wasn't his father who did the killing, because he was with him. There's also the implication that Evil King Papa didn't actually want her dead.

They figure out it was a serial killer type killing. Nacho says he's going to keep Cel in the dungeon until she snaps out of her insanity killing spree of death.

Cel wakes up in the dungeon and Coltrane talks to her.

"I always knew you'd wind up here," Kaltain said from the cell beside hers. "Did Their Royal Highenesses tire of you, too?"

Lol Oh Coltrane I've missed you so much.

Coltrane then asks if Cel killed anyone who deserved it, and Cel just says "almost". Yeah, but she killed  FUCKTON OF INNOCENT MEN but who cares about them.

She's mad because Nacho didn't tell Cel that the king wanted to question Nehemiah. And like, I guess I understand why she's pissed, but really, Nacho had no obligation to tell her, even if they were sleeping together. She's also mad that he didnt' tell her about the anonymous threat either. Again, he had no obligation to do so. He should have told Nehemiah, sure.

He was so stupidly honorable and loyal to the king that he didn't even think that she could have done something to prevent this.

You're an assassin, you great buffoon. maybe he thought your expertise lay in killing shit instead of not killing shit.

I mean, Nacho is terrible at his job, but so are you.

Cel is super angsty and I don't even want to write about it. She tells Coltrane that Nehemiah was killed. Coltrane says that Duke Perrington is going to some city and that she's going with him. Evil King Papa gave her an ultimatum: marry the duke or spend the rest of her life in the dungeon.

Cel wonders why the Duke would want to marry Coltrane after she betrayed him. Oh hon. The Duke betrayed Coltrane, not the other way around. A drunk monkey could have figured that out.

Poor Coltrane's headaches got worse, and she says that "those wings--they never stop." Cel doesn't understand what they have to do with each other and I"m just like, how can one person be so ridiculously stupid.

Cel decides that Eyllwe would never be "free" because only Nehemiah could ever do anything to stop Evil King Papa. Maybe if cel got off her ass and killed EKP NONE OF THIS BULLSHIT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. but I guess intelligence is to much to hope for.

Me to Nehemiah and Cel


Coltrane tells her to "punish" everyone if she gets out. Poor dear. She deserved better.

Cel wishes she'd died in Endovier.

Their meals are drugged with a sedative, and four days pass. After Cel drinks the sedative one day, Nacho unlocks her cell and kneels down beside her. He'd been searching for the assassin, and Evil King Papa doesn't seem too concerned by any of the happenings.

Chaol gently picked up Celaena, trying not to grunt at the weight, and carried her out of the cell.


He's all angsty too for throwing her in the dungeon. But I don't see what other choice he had because she's a crazy bitch. He carries her to her rooms. He blames himself for Nehemiah's death. He realizes Cel will never love him again and I literally couldn't care any less.


Chapter 32

Cel wakes up and realizes she's in her own bed. She keeps repeating the last thing Nehemiah said to her, that she's a coward. She felt like she and Nehemiah were "twin souls" and it would have been nice to get a real sense of that feeling WHEN NEHEMIAH WAS ALIVE instead of them gossiping about sex while eating breakfast in bed, but I guess I ask too much.

She thinks it's "absurd" that nehemiah is dead and Cel isn't. She skips Nehemiah's funeral and drugs herself with sedatives for days.

It'd be more realistic if I gave a shit about any of these characters.








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