I AM SO HAPPY.
Chapter 53
After the council meeting, Prince Fizzbitch is pissy. Nacho explains his reasoning. Fizzbitch is still pissy.
Cel goes to Nehemiah's grave and is all angsty. She promises Nehemiah that she will stop Evil King Papa.
She slices her palm open (WHY THE PALM? WHY IS ALWAYS THE PALM? THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO CUT YOURSELF FOR A BLOOD OATH or for anything that requires blood) DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY IMPORTANT NERVES ARE THERE?
She presses her bloody palm to the grave and promises to free Eyllwe.
So since ambassadors from Eyllwe were coming to get Nehemiah's remains (which we still haven't heard if they showed up yet or not), is her blood oath still going to be in effect when they take her body? Asking for a friend.
Chapter 54
Cel is packing when Prince Fizzbitch shows up with some books. she wanted to slip out without saying goodbye.
In two hours, she would sail to Wendlyn, that land of myths and monsters, a kingdom of dreams and nightmares made flesh.
Two things:
1) Why are we hearing about Wendlyn being a nightmare land for the first time right at the end of the book? You'd think this would be established BACK WHEN IT WAS FIRST MENTIONED
and
2) So far in two books, we've seen that Adarlan has had myths and monsters, and there were dreams (since we've had to read about them ad nauseum) and nightmares and things that came out of both made flesh.
Just sayin'.
Prince Fizzbitch doesn't want her to go for various reasons. Cel asks him to look after her dumb dog, and Fizzbitch agrees. He then asks to store his magic research in her rooms and she says sure. And randomly mentions the Walking Dead.
I will never be over the book's name
They say goodbye and they nod at each other. Cel thanks him for helping her and being her friend. She promises to come back.
Down at the docks, Cel is getting ready to board the ship. Her palm is hurting from her blood oath (this is why you don't use a part of your body that you use the most you dick).
Before she can board, Nacho appears out of nowhere. They talk a bit about why she's going to Wendlyn. She tells him she's going to return to Rifthold at some point and he's not happy about it because he doesn't want her to get caught as a Fae. She then decides to tell him about the wyrdkeys and all of that business. BTW the ship is leaving in less than five minutes at this point.
She gives him the amulet for protection. Nacho is sad. She whispers something in his ear and of course the narration doesn't tell us what she whispered because WE NEED A CLIFFHANGER AND TO HIDE THINGS FROM THE READER DAMMIT.
I hate this trope so much, if you couldn't tell.
Nacho doesn't know what she means, and Cel says he'll figure it out and thinks about how when he realizes what she said he'll hate her forever (and it's about why she did... something) and some vague stuff about picking him. It's really frustrating and dumb and I'm so angry I can't even tell you. Ugh.
Nacho says that he loves her. Cel says "i'm sorry" and boards the ship. Nacho watches her sail off. Cel stares at him, standing there on the deck like a bump on a log, staring in that direction until the sun sets (BTW she sailed off two hours after breakfast). I'm sure the sailors are like "what the actual fuck can we just move around her as we work? Is she dead? Is she high? Did she OD? Should we find the healer?" And then they started taking bets on when she'd move.
She doesn't notice the smell of the salt air until she stops staring.
Chapter 56
Okay, now we find out that the words were a date. Why... didn't the narration just tell us so when she says it in the first place? Anyway Nacho doesn't know what it means, especially since there's no year. It's the day that she flipped out in Endovier a year earlier, and the anniversary of her parents' death.
Nacho thinks about the wyrdkeys and it's rehashing things we already know.
He goes back to the castle and rifles through the drawers in her bedroom. He tries to figure out what the date means. He finds a genealogy that talks about Aelin Galathynius and her parents.
Turns out, the date she gave him was when Alien Garfunkel's parents were murdered.
SURPRISE. I called it at the very beginning Of Throne of Glass (and also found out through spoilers for this book so I knew before I started reading).
Also apparently the king's heir was his nephew, as opposed to his daughter. That's... weird.
Nacho is a fucking idiot and thinks that maybe Cel is trying to tell him that she knew where Alien is hiding and HASN'T FIGURED OUT THAT THE DATE THAT HER PARENTS DIED, THAT IS THE SAME DATE THAT THE ROYAL COUPLE DIED, MEANS THAT SHE IS ALIEN GARFUNKEL ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
He does some more research on the Queen (who is from Wendlyn). Alien's great-grandmother was Mab (as in HUMAN FAERY FOLKLORE STOP IT BOOK DON'T TOUCH THIS), and her sisters are Maeve and Mora.
Also Mab is a fucking goddess (deanna of the hunt) by the way because this book hates me a lot. BTW how long do Fae live in this book? Because 70 or 80 years isn't really long enough to turn a known Fae Queen into a goddess. But then again this world's religion is so vague I have no idea about anything.
It isn't until Nacho remembers that on Chrismahannakwanzikaa the little girl dressed like Deanna gave Cel a gold arrow during their church service that he FINALLY FUCKING REALIZES CEL IS ALIEN GARFUNKEL.
Oh it turns out Arobynn Hamel, who trained Cel, was the one who assassinated her parents.
Nacho thinks he may be wrong. HOW MUCH MORE OBVIOUS CAN THIS GET YOU DUMB MAN.
Oh I don't think i mentioned this in the last book, but Cel's eyes are blue ringed with gold. Apparently eyes from the Fae side of cel's family are blue ringed with gold and that's finally how Nacho realizes she's Alien Garfunkel.
And he has a bit of a freak out and sinks to his knees and this book IS FINALLY OVER GODDAMMIT.
In reading the acknowledgements, Sarah J. Maas thanks her editor. I'm offended at the notion that this book had a professional editor because DAMN the contradictions, inconsistencies, and weird motivations made this book worse than Throne of Glass. And that is saying something.
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