Chapter 43
Cel doesn't play the piano because of angst.
An hour later, literally, she's in the one secret passageway she found in the library after retrieving the Walking Dead.
Magic is gone, but here's this random spell that works. What the fuck.
Anyway, she gets to the iron door and draws Wyrdmarks on the door (was the spell made up of wyrdmarks and is that why it works? Why didn't it say so before? I don't freaking understand anything). She also says some words and the door opens.
The spell truly worked. She didn't want to think about all that implied [. . .]
Fuck you Cellulite.
She goes inside the door and sees another hallway with dozens of similar iron doors. She goes to investigate, and the doors are all numbered.
All of the doors were locked. And some instinct told her to keep them that way.
"Some instinct" = magic sue powers to do what the plot needs without explaining why she would feel that way or just NOT FEELING LIKE DOING IT would be good enough for me, but no, fuck logic, just have instincts.
I hate this book so much guys.
She starts getting a headache. There are 100 doors. She tries to open door 100.
And unlike the doors lining the hall, this one seemed to ask her to unlock it--as though it needed to be opened.
Stop writing this shit.
Are you fucking kidding me? This is so freaking boring. There's a few thousand more hallways and she realizes they're spiraling down and I literally couldn't give less of a shit about this development.
MORE HALLWAYS. DELIGHTFUL.
She gets ready to draw the Wyrdmarks on what she think is the last door and a "voice" in her head tells her to "run". STOP IT.
Anyway, she goes in and sees another hallway, only this one is all falling down and caved in. THERE IS ANOTHER FUCKING DOOR ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
She checks out one of the cells, which had its door smashed from the inside. She goes into the cell and saw that there were iron chains and gouges that looked like they were made by fingernails in the stone wall.
How could someone make such lines in iron? In stone?
Why don't you ask the ridderak who made such lines in stone in the first book?
She goes on and there's an eight door or something, I don't know. It's called an "eighth gate" but there were literally no mentions of gates before in this chapter (The doors were also called portals at one point). She goes up a spiral staircase and her headache gets worse. She reaches the top and there's obsidion walls all around her. The stone on the walls is the same material as the Secret Club Rings that EKP, Rolaids, and Duke Perrington wear.
She touches the stone and gets a slash of pain through her head. She goes back down the stairs and realizes she's in the clock tower as it strikes the hour.
Chapter 44
Prince Fizzbitch apparently followed Cel, as he's looking at the spiral staircase and thinks to himself that Cel found the "legendary catacombs" beneath the castle.
It wasn't spying. And it wasn't sneaking. Dorian was merely curious.I'm pretty sure following someone to see what they're doing and not letting them know you are there is an exact definition of spying and sneaking.
As he's waiting for Cel to return, his magic turns all spidey sense and tells him to leave. He starts calling after Cel, and then goes down the staircase.
Wait, hadn't Cel gone up? I AM SO CONFUSED BY THE GEOGRAPHY OF THIS DAMNED CASTLE.
Cel is running back down the stairs (SEE? THERE ARE TOO MANY STAIRS BUT ONLY ONE WAS SPECIFICALLY CALLED SPIRAL UGH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK). She's kind of freaking out.
She thinks that maybe the clocktower was one of the wyrdkeys, but is like "they were supposed to be small" and that's not true because no where in the riddle did they say they were all small. One was said to be in a crown, but the others were very vague.
She FINALLY realizes she's not alone (some assassin) and freaks out again, so she extinguishes her torch, believing she can navigate the place by memory. By the way, she's been carrying the sword Damaris the whole time.
POV switch. There's some mysterious thing in one of the cells, and thinks of Cel as food. It's the typical fantasy "forgot what it was and it's name and what it used to be" mystery foe.
POV switch back to Cel because this book knows how to kill pacing like nobody's business. She touches her amulat.
POV switch back to the creature and I am about ready to throw this book out the window. It's stalking people but light makes it hurt. It eats rats.
POV switch back to Cel. Are you fucking kidding me, four POV switches in two pages?! Her amulet is glowing like crazy and I am losing my patience because this chapter is so freaking long.
She strikes at the thing and then runs. It's a good thing it was the creature and not Prince Fizzbitch, eh? It chases her.
It stood like a man, but it wasn't a man--no, that face was something out of a nightmare.
Gonna describe it to us?
And it's strength, able to shove aside those fallen beams as though they were stalks of wheat. . .Yeah, didn't think so.
They go on a merry chase.
The hood had fallen off the creature, revealing what looked like a man's face--looked like but no longer was.
You literally just saw his face three paragraphs ago and now his face was revealed again? Where was the fucking editor for this book?
Yes, why aren't you fired yet?
It's mouth is scarred, like the lips were sewn together and it was ripped open and sewed several times. And that's all the description we get, apparently. Cel asks what it is, but it doesn't reply, and she realizes it knows how to use wyrdmarks because it was the creature in the library in the beginning of the book.
Prince Fizzbitch is still calling for Cel, and Cel tells him to run. Instead, he draws his sword. Cel comes running, followed by the creature. They run back up the stairs.
She manages to close the door on the creature (I am so confused about what door it is but that doesn't really matter) and holds it against the onslaught. Fizzbitch helps her. After a moment, she notices that magic is being used on the door and that it's coming from Prince Fizzbitch.
POV switch to Dorian very briefly to show his magic and that the creature gains some ground on the door.
POV switch back to Cel. Total pace killer. That should be the author's byline. Prince Fizzbitch grabs the sword and manages to hit the thing's wrist. The door slams closed.
Cel says that The Walking Dead will have the answer to sealing the door.
If only Cel felt this way.
Fizzbitch finds the book and returns. She finds a spell and casts it. They epen the door and it gets stuck in the holding spell. She cuts off his head. No, seriously, what's this book's obsession with decapitation?!
Prince Fizzbitch starts curing and Cel breaks the spell. She cuts up the body. She shoves the body into the secret door and closes it. So there's this rotting body right behind a door in the library? That's going to smell delightful in a couple days! I hope Sensel the Librarian finds out and bans Cel for life.
POV switch to Prince Fizzbitch. They're in his rooms and he's changing. Cel explains the rooms she saw. Oh wait it's Cel's POV not Fizzbitch's. Okay that was weird. Anyway, she explains what's going on.
...Apparently Baba Blacksheep said the keys were slivers of black rock. I literally do not remember this happening. Okay I checked and she did say slivers. But literally that's all she said. They were slivers. She didn't even describe what the wyrdgates were made out of. GODDAMMIT EDITOR.
This whole section is boring. They talk about the Walking Dead.
They talk about Prince Fizzbitch's magic. Cel refuses to tell him things because he would ask too many questions because she's a fucking asshole.
They hold hands.
Chapter 45
Cel goes to the dungeon to see Coltrane!!!! Apparently her family line had lots of magic, but it was gone two generations earlier. Supposedly.
Cel remembers when Coltrane said she thought she was brought to the castle for another reason than to marry the Duke. Sadly Coltrane is gone and this book just STABBED ME IN THE HEART FOR BUILDING MY HOPES UP.
She was taken to be the Duke's wife. Rolaids apparently had left for the same place. She thinks about the strange thing and wonders who it was.
The next night, Cel is checking up on the library door. She tries the door, but it doesn't move.
There's a lot of rehash in this chapter about shit we already know. The padding is so boring.
Apparently there's a pool of blood at the base of the door and NONE OF THE LIBRARIANS HAVE NOTICED IT YET WTF.
She finds a scrap of paper she'd shoved into her pocket that says "Ah! Time's Rift" like on Elena's tomb. She thinks about how all the riddles dont' make sense.
. . . But what if they weren't meant to make sense? What if they were only just logical enough to imply one thing, but really mean another?
Yes, that would be a fucking riddle you fucking braindead dickwad.
Good thing that was the end of the chapter
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